Thirty-nine reasons Why I'm voting Democrat I'm voting Democrat because English has no place being the official language in America. I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $4 for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America or in ANWR. I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could. I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq, I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent country. I'm voting Democrat because I believe the "experts" who can't tell us if it will rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will disappear in 50 years if I don't start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels. I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be allowed to make profits. Businesses should just break even and give the rest to the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the money to whom they think deserve it. I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the nasty, selfish, richest, one percent of the population, who currently pay for 30% of the entire Federal budget, should pay more while the bottom 40% who pay nothing should get a "tax cut". That's fair, no? I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon breaks into my house at 2 A.M. and threatens my family or me, I feel confident the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand. I'm voting Democrat because oil companies' 5% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine. I'm voting Democrat because I believe elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past voters. I'm voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid, hospital services, education, incarceration or social services, I admire countries like Mexico who have solved their poverty problem by exporting it here. I'm voting Democrat because my trial lawyer's crippling multi-million dollar lawsuits against doctors, hospitals, drug companies, and HMO's will make health insurance and medicine much more affordable. I'm voting Democrat because Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Jesse Jackson will end racism once and for all. I'm voting democrat because Barbara Walters is my idol and so is P.Diddy . I'm voting Democrat so that no family member of mine will die in a hospital bed. They will still be waiting in line for socialized medicine, so they will never actually make it into a hospital bed. I'm voting Democrat because everyone knows that raising taxes at the top, where the jobs are created, won't hurt people at the bottom. I'm voting Democrat because skin color, good looks and oratory skills are more important than judgment and experience. I'm voting Democrat because I don't believe that a lifetime of association with domestic terrorists, racist pastors, devout socialists and people who hate America will influence Supreme Court nominations or Cabinet positions. I'm voting Democrat because I believe that everyone is essentially good -- even people like Ahmadinejad who call for the annihilation of Israel and the extermination of its people. He just needs a little understanding. I'm voting Democrat because we should all be forced to drive little, ugly, underpowered cars. I am voting Democrat because I believe in change; although I don't know WHAT the change will be, or HOW it will happen, AND I am pretty sure that I won't WANT to actually change anything I do, but still....I believe in change. I'm voting Democrat because the Government knows how to raise my children better than I do. I'm voting Democrat because I want the rich to work harder, give me their money, and pay for the services I need so I don't have to. I'm voting Democrat because I don't give to charity or do volunteer work, and then I complain about how selfish everyone else is. I'm voting Democrat because I've seen welfare help so many poor people become self-sufficient and upwardly mobile. I'm voting Democrat because I lack the ambition and courage to realize my dreams without the government holding my hand the entire way. I'm voting Democrat because I want America to be just like Europe! I'm voting Democrat because I think we all should be equal...equally unhappy and unsuccessful. I'm voting Democrat because life just isn't fair and I deserve what other people have without working for it. I'm voting Democrat because I like hearing the word "Change" 50 million times and know that the "change" I'm going to see is what's left of my paycheck after the Democrats' tax plans are in place. I'm voting Democrat because I like liberal, Democratic tools like the Community Reinvestment Act that brow-beat banks into making risky loans to the poor, get Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to pick up the tab when the "affordable" housing becomes "unaffordable" and then have the American taxpayers bail out the speculators when it collapses. I'm voting Democrat because Obama was endorsed by Hamas, and terrorists endorsements are a must to achieve world peace. I am voting Democrat since I believe those who are lazy, druggies, high school drop outs, etc. should be entitled to the money I wake up every morning and work my ass off to make! Im voting democrat because it's the COOL thing to do. I'm hip and in the majority. Im voting Democrat because I listen to and believe all the airhead celebrities/actors who so passionately want Obama to win. These are the celebrities whom WE make rich by going to see their movies and watching their liberal-theme T.V. shows, and then bitterly complain how bad our evil, capitalistic society is. I'm voting Democrat because I feel so guilty I was born middle class that I want to do something for the have-nots -- not guilty enough to give them my money, mind you, but to have the government give somebody else's money to them. I'm voting Democrat because of the War on Terror. Although we have not been attacked once since Sept. 11, 2001 (which as everyone knows was Bush's fault), I'd feel much safer with a president who wants to slash our superfluous military and have nice, cozy chats with our enemies. I'm voting Democrat because socialist/communist economics work so well. Look how well off the Soviet Union is right now. I'm voting Democrat because I think Sen. Chris Dodd, Cong. Barney Frank and Cong. Maxine Waters are role models of American legislators.