WIT
AND WISDOM FROM THE MILITARY MANUAL
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least
expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your
unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed."
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons."
- General Macarthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal
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"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with
me."
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"Tracers work both ways."
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal
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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer
to do anything."
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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"Though I Fly Through the
- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines
in the sky."
- From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying
club."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, . The pilot
dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh
S...!"
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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant."
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"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight."
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"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row
is prevarication."
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"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up
there!"
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries."
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about
it."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill
you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its
maximum."
- Jon McBride, astronaut
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"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash
as possible."
- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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Basic Flying Rules:
"Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of
it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to
fly there."